The Very Definition of Narrow

24 yards and a fumble.

That’s Crowder’s stat line from the Monday night game.

24 yards and a fumble means a total of 0 points.

Zero.

None.

I needed 1 point from him. Barely anything. And he came up with less than that.

I knew this wasn’t over yet.

So I finish in a tie with There’s always next year. Which, you know, is great for my stress level. Could this be a little closer maybe? No, literally, it could not. You can’t get closer than the exact same score.

So how did we wind up in this situation?

Mostly because of TANY’s underperformance, honestly. My team didn’t exactly light the world on fire, but TANY’s laid an egg. All those star performers and not one stepped up big for him when he needed them.

I had a huge step up from Ezekiel Elliott though. Last week it was Brady, this week it was Elliott. I stayed close because of huge performances from those two studs. And steady contributions from Gore and Edelman in both weeks, and smart choices on streaming defenses, and a huge 51 yard kick this week from Kai Forbath. My team didn’t go off like they’re capable of, but they did what they needed to do.

TANY’s, on the other hand, did not. Last week he had Le’Veon Bell go off, and this week Bell had a solid game, but pretty much everyone else on his roster let him down. From Antonio Brown, to the Vikings defense, to – and this is my favorite bit – Mike Evans. Remember when he traded for Mike Evans, and the rumor went that there was collusion there? He gave up his integrity to get the #1 wide receiver, and in the three weeks he’s had him he’s gone for 14 points total.

Cheaters never prosper, guys.

These have been rough weeks in general, and the scores across my league have not tended to be high. That’s what kept this close, more than any skill I can deliver.

Can you say beginner’s luck?

So what happens now?

We go to a tiebreaker. And I’m honestly not sure what the tiebreaker is. Is it total Points For on the season? Regular season record? Higher playoff seed?

Fortunately I own all of those.

Yes, we’re on to the finals.

Barely, but we’re on to the finals.

Now we’re going to face another incredible test. KING OF TRADES has changed his team name to YOU WANT IT!!!? COME GET IT. I don’t know why he’s baiting me, but… yeah, I want it. I’m gonna get it. I’m coming for it.

I didn’t think I had much of a chance to get out of the first round. And I’ll be an underdog here too. But I can do it. Clearly, I can do it.

Holy crap, y’all, we’re in the FINALS!

Where We Are

If you had told me before this playoff matchup started that Le’Veon Bell was going to earn a total of 59 points in two weeks for my opponent, I would have known that there was no way the matchup would be close.

Or if you’d told me that Tom Brady would put up a score in single digits one week.

Or that Melvin Gordon would contribute a total of 0 points.

Or that the highest single performance on my team would come from a guy on my bench.

Well, guess what. All that is true. Bell added 12 points to the 47 he earned last week. Brady only had 7 this week for me. Gordon was injured early on in Week Fourteen and gave me 0 for that week and was out of my lineup for this one. And the best score anyone on Team BlueAndGold had in these two weeks was Ty Montgomery this past weekend, who blew up for 28 points and made me feel both proud for picking him up and disappointed that I left him on the bench.

All that is true. And yet?

And yet?

It’s close.

It’s not quite over, because there’s still one more player about to kick off in the Monday night game.

But it’s close.

How close?

Tied.

TIED.

171-171.

And the player that has yet to go?

Is Jamison Crowder.

Who is on my team.

If he scores 1 point – just one! – I go over and win the matchup.

Guys.

We did it.

I mean, it’s not quite over. Crowder could fumble on his first play and lose me 2 points, and then break his ankle on his second play and be out. The fat lady hasn’t sung yet. But you can hear her warming up in the wings, and the song she’s preparing is a glorious ode to Team BlueAndGold.

GUYS!

WE DID IT!

More analysis when this game is over, when Crowder puts his numbers up and we can look at the team as a whole. For now, watch this game with me with bated breath, waiting for Crowder to get the ten yards or – for extra insurance – a touchdown that would put me over the top.

I’m crossing every finger and toe, holding my breath, waiting on the edge of my seat.

I’ll report back when it happens.

If it happens.

(It’s happening, guys! WE DID IT!!!!!!!!)

All The Marbles

Me at the end of Week Fourteen: Don’t ever let me doubt Tom Brady, okay?

Me at the start of Week Fifteen: Guys, I’m beginning to doubt Tom Brady.

I know, right? I know. But hear me out here. He’s playing Denver this week. In Denver. And while sure, Denver isn’t the same team they were last year by any stretch – I’m not even convinced they make the playoffs this year, much less defend their Super Bowl win from last season – their defense is still very much for real. And that’s the part I have to be concerned with. They allow the fewest fantasy points to opposing quarterbacks in the NFL – and, in fact, are also #1 in fewest points allowed to wide receivers, which is disappointing to someone who relies on Julian Edelman to lead her wide receiver corps in A.J. Green’s absence.

This is the weekend I play for my playoff life. I don’t need matchup concerns on top of my injury concerns and general playing-from-behind concerns.

But here we are, and our QB options run thusly:

• Play Tom Brady. Take the risk of his Denver matchup. Just know that Brady is that good and he can always step up.
• Play Marcus Mariota, who, by the way, faces his own awful matchup against the Kansas City Chiefs. It’s not quite as bad as facing Denver, but I trust him less to step up in spite of it, so… wash?
• Stream somebody. Tyrod Taylor would be an interesting choice here, as he has to face off against Cleveland, and you know I’m always going to pounce on that matchup when I can. But do I want to bet my playoff life on a streamer? Especially one that caused me such headaches and heartbreaks earlier this season?

At the moment I’m leaning towards Door Number One. Because it is Brady and I just promised not to doubt him. But I’ve got about a day to reevaluate this decision, and we’ll see where I come down when it’s showtime on Sunday.

But QB’s not the only position where I’ve had to scramble this week. There’s the obvious defensive streamer – we’re rolling with the Texans this week, facing a Jacksonville team that they already exploited for me once this year. There’s the obvious tight end – the matchup dial this week points to Kyle Rudolph against Indianapolis, which should be a high scoring game. But then there’s less obvious decisions. Decisions we haven’t had to make much this season. A new balancing act with a suddenly thinner corps of position players for the wide receiver, running back, and flex positions.

Melvin Gordon is still down with his hip injury. Maybe he’ll be back this year, but he’s ruled out for this week. Okay, sure. Plug Frank Gore into his slot and my RB production won’t take too serious a hit, but that leaves the flex spot open.

And A.J. Green is still down with his hamstring injury. He’s starting to practice with the team, but he’s been ruled out for this weekend. Alright, fine. We’ve managed without him since he went out – not as successfully, but we’ve managed.

This leaves me with three slots to fill, two wide receivers and a flex position. And the two wide receivers I feel most comfortable relying on are… Tom Brady’s #1 WR Julian Edelman and Marcus Mariota’s #1 WR Rishard Matthews.

I know.

I actually think the matchup for Matthews is better than for Mariota. Tennessee’s not going to get shut out, and there’s a great chance that Matthews will be the one that gets into the end zone for them. I’m happy to play him. Edelman makes me more nervous, but I’m going with it on the theory that, again, New England won’t get shut out, and Edelman will be Brady’s most used safety valve. He’ll pick up yards as a workhorse WR. He might not score but he’ll see work.

I also have Jamison Crowder, and his matchup lines up nicely too, against a Panthers team that hasn’t been good all year. He’s my flex man at the moment. And if he gets loose and scores as I think he could do, he could replicate Gore’s production in that slot and keep my score high.

I have two other wildcards on my bench that could be interesting in this week’s lineup, and I’m not convinced that I won’t end up throwing one or the other of them in there. Cameron Brate has an interesting matchup with Dallas this week, and while I like Kyle Rudolph’s slightly more, I reserve the right to change my mind. Especially now that Adrian Petersen is coming back for the Vikings this week – maybe I’d better see how that offense shakes out with its new primary weapon before I trust Rudolph much? I’m not sure yet. As for the other wildcard, I cut C.J. Fiedorowicz (who’s out this week with a concussion, and it’s not like I need a third tight end, really) to add Ty Montgomery, who carries WR and RB designations. He’s the primary RB, at this point, for Green Bay, and Green Bay has been playing like their playoffs depend on it, because they do. Sadly this has not translated to performance for Randall Cobb, who hasn’t been the same since his midseason injury and is the third WR option, at best, on that team. But it’s translated to Montgomery. And I can play him as a WR and gain his RB production, if I need to. Or I can play him as an RB if, God forbid, something happens to either of the two studs I have left.

If I make any switches I’ll let you know, but for now I’m rolling with Edelman, Matthews, and Crowder as my WRs and Rudolph as my TE.

So… where does that leave me in the final week of my matchup with There’s always next year?

Behind, unfortunately.

And remember that I’m in a hole already to start with. Last week ended with me down 13 points. I have to make that up, and make up the 10 points I’m projected to lose by this week, to take this playoff matchup and advance into the next and final round.

But here’s the little bit of good news that I have: Jimmy Graham, TANY’s tight end, already played on Thursday night and came in under his 6 point projection. He only had 3. Which isn’t 0, like I might have hoped for, but still. It doesn’t close the whole gap, but it helps.

So if you’re betting, I’m not going to be offended if you bet against me. The smart money probably would.

But I’m not out of it. I can do this. There’s a path that leads me into the playoff finals. It requires the best performances out of every player I have, but they’re all guys who can do it. They can get me there.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to spend the next twenty-four hours second-guessing every one of these lineup decisions. Because if I end up losing because of points I left on the bench…

Is that likely? No. But it’s possible. Just like it’s possible that I execute on this comeback.

Anything is possible.

I’ll just be repeating that from now until Monday night.