Wanted: One Rabbit’s Foot

Oh man, y’all. Ooooooooh man.

I want to make something absolutely clear. I am not cocky about my fantasy football success. I know perfectly well that I’m not Alabama. I’m not coming out here every week and putting up insane scores on my hapless opponents and making great teams look like fools and beating up on folks by 35 every week. I’m not getting wins by sheer force of my own dominance.

I’m the Kansas City Chiefs. I keep eking out wins against teams I should probably lose to. I keep getting huge performances just in the nick of time while my opponents come up short because of their own mismanagement, nothing to do with me. There’s some skill involved, but the dominant force behind my record is pure luck and the competitive fire to keep going when the odds looked against me after that 0-3 start.

If you saw the game on Sunday night, you know that the only way Kansas City won that game is by hanging around even when Denver had it won, keeping their fight going so that when Denver choked it away, they were there to step in for the victory. And their game winning field goal that ricocheted off the upright and just barely squeaked through – what else can you call that but luck? Skill to get into position to win, but luck to close the deal.

That’s what I have. And arguably way more luck than skill.

So how did my luck hold out for the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend?


Just enough, thank you very much.

Once again I win a game I have no business winning, but this time it’s for a different reason. Mostly when I have one of these surprise wins, it’s because I have such stellar performances out of all of my running backs and/or my quarterback that I can cover for weakness in the wide receiver or tight end positions. This week, my wide receivers and tight end were perfectly okay, if not stupendous. None of them had breakout games, but their scores are hard to complain about.

Frank Gore, on the other hand, had a score worth complaining about. I won’t go into it again, but – 2 points, man? Really?

The Tennessee Titans had a score worth complaining about. All you had to do was defend against a third-string quarterback and a weakened receiver corps. Was that really so much to ask? 1 point is the best you could do?

Even Melvin Gordon’s 8 points is worth complaining about, when he’s projected for twice that. This might be the first week I can really say that I needed him and he didn’t come through.

82 points is weak sauce. Fortunately my opponent was just a little bit weaker.

And he has to be kicking himself today. He had two wide receivers on his bench who went off. If he used either Tyreek Hill, who had 23 points, or DeSean Jackson, who had 17, in place of either one of his WRs, he beats me easily. He wouldn’t even have needed both of them. Just one would do it. Instead he opens the door for me, and I slide through with the narrow victory.

I, on the other hand, have the best team I could have had going for me, almost. I could have had 2 extra points by using Mariota in place of Brady, and up to 3 more by using a WR instead of Gore in the flex, but that’s it. Everyone else on my bench would be a downgrade against my roster. Which isn’t a compliment to my roster-setting abilities, it’s an insult to my roster as a whole.

But I made it. Up to 9-3 and ready to battle Team rosellini next week for the #1 seed in the playoffs.

Speaking of which:

  • Rosellini did win her matchup, handily, so she’s 10-2 now. This means the best I can do is to tie her on record with a win next week – we’d both finish with 10-3 records if that happens, and I have the lead on the tiebreaker. By definition, if I win, she can’t outscore me to make up points on me for a tiebreaker edge, so a win for me next week gives me the #1 seed. Hot damn.
  • KING OF TRADES did win his matchup too, handily. He’s now 8-4. If I lose next week and he wins, we finish in a tie for second place, and while I have the edge on the tiebreaker for now, another week like this one where he outscores me by 40 points puts that outcome in doubt. Not that it would matter that much – we’d be the #2 and #3 seeds and would play each other in the first round of the playoffs. Which one of us ends up with which one of the seeds won’t change anything about the matchup. If I lose and he wins, I play him in the playoffs. If I lose and he loses, this is likely to happen anyway. I don’t want to play him in the playoffs. His team is overloaded from his lopsided trades. I want to avoid him as long as possible. This means I need to win next week. I need that #1 seed.
  • There’s always next year won his matchup too, handily. He’s now 7-5 and by himself in fourth. He’ll keep the #4 seed if he wins next week. I faced him in my very first week, before my team had become what it’s become. And he clobbered me. It would be fun to face him again, and sweet, sweet redemption to beat him in the playoffs. Again, I need the #1 seed to make that happen.
  • Team RAIDER NATION lost his matchup, narrowly – 4 extra points from Aaron Rodgers in the Monday night game would have had him over the top, but alas. He’s now 6-6. Joining him at 6-6 are Team Broncosgirl and Smile$ Julio. All three of them are technically alive for the playoffs if they win next week and There’s always next year loses. TANY has the current edge on the tiebreaker, but it’s close enough to bounce to one of the other three. I beat all three of these teams once already and would expect to do so again in the playoffs, although of course anything can and will happen.

Which is the point, really. Anything can and will happen, and what does happen often comes down to luck. That’s what I need now in the last week of the fantasy regular season.

Skill to get into position, and luck to close the deal.

I’m coming for you, rosellini. You and me, winner take all for the #1 seed.

Wish me… well, you know what.


2 thoughts on “Wanted: One Rabbit’s Foot

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