I’ve long believed that I can only have one fandom success at a time. If I care about two sporting events on a particular weekend, one of them might be a rousing success, but the other will be a crushing failure. (If I care about more than two, then all I can promise you is that I’m not going to run the table either way.) Call this sports karma, call it the laws of probability, call it confirmation bias, but I’ve observed this to be true. It’s like Highlander. (Important to note: I have never seen Highlander, so I could be grossly misstating things here. All I have ever heard about Highlander is that THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Seems like it applies here.)
So with that in mind, let’s review the sporting events I massively cared about from this past weekend.
- The Dodgers vs. the Cubs in the NLCS
- UCLA vs. Utah
- The Rams in London vs. the Giants
- Kyle Busch attempting to make the Chase cut in Talledega
- Team BlueAndGold vs. Team rosellini
And how did they go?
- Clayton Kershaw got worked in Game Six. That kind of thing is not supposed to happen, or at least wasn’t supposed to happen anymore after he suddenly went Playoff Beast Mode. Cubs advance, Dodgers lose.
- High scoring game, but UCLA couldn’t close the deal. And we’re still without our star QB, and from the news I heard today (that Rosen has nerve problems in his throwing shoulder – that’s not good) we may be without him for a while. Bruins lose, drop to 3-5. *whimper*
- The Rams had this one, until Case Keenum stopped looking like whatever monster he was in Week Six and started looking like Case Keenum. Can Jared Goff just play already? We’re gonna miss the playoffs, so can we at least see our #1 draft pick now? Rams lose bright and early Sunday, setting the tone for a weirdly down day in the NFL.
- This one actually went okay for me, although I kind of hate the strategy. JGR’s three relatively safe Chase contending cars rode around at the back of the field in Talledega, trying not to get wrecked, since a wreck is the only thing that would have knocked any of them out of the Chase. It worked, and Kyle advances, but let’s not pretend it’s not a little bit sketchy. On the bright side, my dad’s driver Joey Logano won the race to also advance in the Chase, and Brad Keselowski (The Asshole) was knocked out. We’re calling Talledega a success.
- And then, the fantasy matchup.
I guess I have a future as a motivational speaker? Because apparently my locker room pep talk worked. Team rosellini is as good at advertised, but I still managed to beat her. She had the second-highest score in the league this weekend. Too bad for her, I had the first. (This makes me the only person in the league thus far to have the highest score in two separate weeks. Oh, and did I mention my best player was out on bye this week?)
I’m at 4-3, I have a winning record, and I’m tied for 4th in the standings. I’m suddenly a heavy hitter in this league.
Plus, there was this message on the league message board:
You’re damn right it is, son. You’re damn right it is.
Look out, league. This comeback isn’t over yet.